After another argument on Sunday night, Ken woke up upset at me, he started questioning my feelings about other people, the reason why I was still accepting text messages and responding to them, especially from "men". This was brought up due to my Blackberry beeping at any given time - calendar reminders, work e-mail address, personal e-mail address and text messages. Each one of them has a different ring tone but Ken is assuming that they are all text messages from "men".
While I was in the shower, he came once again in the bathroom and wanted some answers from me. Even though I told me that I didn't want to talk about it and asked him to leave, he refused. Within 2 minutes, he snatched the shower curtain open and started to touch my breasts and vagina areas and telling me that "I belonged to him" and that "He could have me sexually whenever he wanted to". He was staring at me with so much hate in his eyes and looked at my vagina area and questioned why I kept it shaved/trimmed even though him and I don't have sex anymore and accused me to have sex with other men because of it. I tried closing the shower curtain but he kept me from doing so. Since I was in the shower, soapy and wet, I did not want to risk falling or getting hurt. He was very aggressive towards me and at that point, I became afraid that he would physically hit me so I stopped talking to him all together. I hurried up out of the shower and put my robe on. He left the house. It was about 7:15a.
He called me at 8:16a (aborted), 8:28a (7:09), 8:35a (aborted), 8:37a (3:12). He tried to force conversation about the same issues and I refused.
On my way home from Cardinal - on the phone with VN:
Home 5:34p (2 minutes - we talked about the kid's conferences with teachers that evening and I told Ken that I will talk to him at home, said good-bye and hung up)
Home 5:37p (aborted)
Home 5:40p (aborted)
Home 5:41p (aborted)
Home 5:41p (aborted 2)
Home 5:41p (aborted 3)
Home 5:47p (aborted)
Home 5:47p (aborted 2)
Home 5:47p (aborted 3)
Home 5:47p (aborted 4)
Home 5:47p (aborted 5)
Home 5:47p (aborted 6)
Home 5:59p (aborted)
Home 6:02p (aborted)
Home 6:03p (0:09 - Daphnee calling as I was pulling up in the garage)
Ken pulled up in his Orkin truck behind me, it was obvious that he had just left the house and was looking for me to see if I was on the phone.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday 11/08/09
Ken got up and left the house at 7:30m and returned at 2:30p - he told me that he had a side job on Sunday but I was not informed where it was and how long it will take. No phone calls or text messages were made between him, the house and I during the time he was gone.
While organizing my closet, washing clothes and cleaning up the house while he was gone, I noticed that he went through my black and white bag that I take to work everyday, my brown purse and also my drawer where I have all of my underwear. It was obvious that he took the opportunity while I was in Baltimore overnight to go through everything.
When I confronted him about it on Sunday night, he denied it until I asked him to swear on his life, then he admitted that he opened my black and white bag.
While organizing my closet, washing clothes and cleaning up the house while he was gone, I noticed that he went through my black and white bag that I take to work everyday, my brown purse and also my drawer where I have all of my underwear. It was obvious that he took the opportunity while I was in Baltimore overnight to go through everything.
When I confronted him about it on Sunday night, he denied it until I asked him to swear on his life, then he admitted that he opened my black and white bag.
Thursday 11/5/09
Ken was still upset about the night before. While I was in the shower, he kept on coming in and force answers out of me. A couple of months ago, boundaries were established in order for him to respect my needed space and me in general, one of the boundaries is for him not to come in the bathroom when I'm in there and not to look at him above my knee and below my neck while I am naked. That morning, he walked in the bathroom while I was in the shower, yelling, repeatedly asking me about the paper and being very verbally aggressive towards me. He refused to leave the bathroom when I asked him to and even refused to move out of the way so I could come out of the bathroom while still being very much in my face yelling.
He finally felt the house to go drop off Kenneth Jr at school.
At 8:05am I received a text message from him "Tell my kids that dad love them", I did not respond. At 8:11am he called me for 4:40 and told me that he was in front of the lake about to drive in and asked me if I had anything to say, when I told me that I didn't, he questioned the fact that I did not tell him not to do it. At 8:17am I received a call from Dee Collins for 11:44 asking me what was going on. She informed me that Ken was blowing up her phone and John's (about messing up and going through my purse) and that he was waiting for her in front of her office in South Holland in need of an emergency counseling session. We agreed that she would charged him for it, if she had time to see him.
I had no contacts with Ken until about 1:30p when I texted him about Julius attending the HF Jr Vikings Football Banquet the following day. He responded.
He finally felt the house to go drop off Kenneth Jr at school.
At 8:05am I received a text message from him "Tell my kids that dad love them", I did not respond. At 8:11am he called me for 4:40 and told me that he was in front of the lake about to drive in and asked me if I had anything to say, when I told me that I didn't, he questioned the fact that I did not tell him not to do it. At 8:17am I received a call from Dee Collins for 11:44 asking me what was going on. She informed me that Ken was blowing up her phone and John's (about messing up and going through my purse) and that he was waiting for her in front of her office in South Holland in need of an emergency counseling session. We agreed that she would charged him for it, if she had time to see him.
I had no contacts with Ken until about 1:30p when I texted him about Julius attending the HF Jr Vikings Football Banquet the following day. He responded.
Wednesday 11/04/09
I went to bed early because I was tired, around 9:30p and Daphnee was laying with me in my bed. A few minutes after I was asleep, Ken came in the room, flipped the light on and starting yelling at me and throwing a paper in my face, asking me what this was all about. The paper in question was the copy of an email that was sent about one year ago to a friend of mine (edited of course to remove email addresses, addressee and closing statements that would identify who the recipient was). I had the copy of this email in order to show our counselor Dee Collins that my feelings about the relationship were the same a year before. This paper was in my purse which was zipped by the front door, where I usually leave it.
When I asked Ken why he went through my purse again, he told me that he wanted to put a letter in my purse and just happened to see the paper and decided to read it. I know for a fact that this paper was in the middle of other papers, at the bottom of my purse and that he had to remove my wallet and 2 check books in order to get to it.
For the following 2 hours, he kept me up, was yelling and in my face about who, what, how and why in regards to this paper. I kept my calm and kept on repeating that all I wanted was to go to sleep and that Daphnee was right there. Of course she woke up and so did Julius who was sleeping in his room. Both of them were upset and complained of stomach pains.
At one point, Ken started to poke me hard with his finger on my back and chest area, my head in order to force me to talk to him. I kept on asking him to stop touching me. Finally about 11:30p I was able to go to sleep.
When I asked Ken why he went through my purse again, he told me that he wanted to put a letter in my purse and just happened to see the paper and decided to read it. I know for a fact that this paper was in the middle of other papers, at the bottom of my purse and that he had to remove my wallet and 2 check books in order to get to it.
For the following 2 hours, he kept me up, was yelling and in my face about who, what, how and why in regards to this paper. I kept my calm and kept on repeating that all I wanted was to go to sleep and that Daphnee was right there. Of course she woke up and so did Julius who was sleeping in his room. Both of them were upset and complained of stomach pains.
At one point, Ken started to poke me hard with his finger on my back and chest area, my head in order to force me to talk to him. I kept on asking him to stop touching me. Finally about 11:30p I was able to go to sleep.
Friday November 6, 2009
I informed Ken on the weekend of October 24-25, 2009 that I was taking another overnight trip to a spa/resort in Baltimore, Maryland. Left Chicago Friday 11/6 at 9:20a - MDW to BWI SW 1236 and returned to Chicago Saturday 11/07 at 3:50pm - BWI to MDW SW 2518. I stayed at the Turf Valley Resort in Ellicott City, Maryland, Room 518 Junior Suite. I purchased the plane ticket, the room and rental car through Enterprise was charged on Bank of America credit card. I also took $200 cash from my TCF Bank account.
Even though Ken did not call me or text me during my stay in Baltimore, I had to call the home a few times and received several calls from the children, especially Daphnee who was not feeling well. Upon my return, the children informed me that after each phone call between them and I, they were questioned by Ken about where I was, what I said I was doing, etc.
Even though Ken did not call me or text me during my stay in Baltimore, I had to call the home a few times and received several calls from the children, especially Daphnee who was not feeling well. Upon my return, the children informed me that after each phone call between them and I, they were questioned by Ken about where I was, what I said I was doing, etc.
Verizon Online Account
For the past 4-5 years, I've had online access to the Verizon Family Plan. This allows me to view phone calls and text messages placed on all lines, at this time Ken, Audrey, Kenneth Jr and Julius. It also allows me to manage the "Friends & Family" option and payments. I am the only one with the access ID and password. Ken requested that I give him access to it after I removed my line in May 2009 but for Audrey's privacy I refused. I am afraid that Ken will do the same thing to her then he did to me, which is calling the numbers that he does not recognized or that she calls the most.
On November 2, 2009, Ken called me to inform me that his phone was locked (keypad) and that in order to unlock it Verizon had to reset the online account. At that point, I lost all access to the lines and he had to re-sign online. The Verizon account had a security password on it, which is totally independent of the online password. This account password was given to Ken at several occasions (which was our house number) and if it had called me I would have given it to me since it still protected the online access. Ken did not call me and request it and asked Verizon to reset everything.
Once home, I tried to sign up again for the online access but Ken changed the account password also. He refused to give it to me so I dis-activated his e-mail account. I am the email account manager and Ken, Kenneth and Julius have sub-accounts. The main email account manager has a different ID and password than my regular, personal email address. It is also used to access the AT&T U-Verse online account. Ken asked me to re-activate his email account so I asked him to give me the new account password. After a bit of back and forth he obliged and I reactivated it. I re-signed up for the Verizon online account using my original ID and password. The account password remained the way Ken changed it to. I also asked Ken to sign the paperwork to remove him from the Chase Credit Card which he did in hope of obtaining the Verizon online ID and password.
As of today, he does not have access to the online Verizon account. As a note, this action from him was the following day after I informed him that Audrey was meeting a lot of guys in College and I felt like he was trying to see what she was up to. I also informed Audrey that if she wanted, we could move her line to my Verizon account if necessary. At this time, I don't think it's needed as long as Ken doesn't have access to her line.
On November 2, 2009, Ken called me to inform me that his phone was locked (keypad) and that in order to unlock it Verizon had to reset the online account. At that point, I lost all access to the lines and he had to re-sign online. The Verizon account had a security password on it, which is totally independent of the online password. This account password was given to Ken at several occasions (which was our house number) and if it had called me I would have given it to me since it still protected the online access. Ken did not call me and request it and asked Verizon to reset everything.
Once home, I tried to sign up again for the online access but Ken changed the account password also. He refused to give it to me so I dis-activated his e-mail account. I am the email account manager and Ken, Kenneth and Julius have sub-accounts. The main email account manager has a different ID and password than my regular, personal email address. It is also used to access the AT&T U-Verse online account. Ken asked me to re-activate his email account so I asked him to give me the new account password. After a bit of back and forth he obliged and I reactivated it. I re-signed up for the Verizon online account using my original ID and password. The account password remained the way Ken changed it to. I also asked Ken to sign the paperwork to remove him from the Chase Credit Card which he did in hope of obtaining the Verizon online ID and password.
As of today, he does not have access to the online Verizon account. As a note, this action from him was the following day after I informed him that Audrey was meeting a lot of guys in College and I felt like he was trying to see what she was up to. I also informed Audrey that if she wanted, we could move her line to my Verizon account if necessary. At this time, I don't think it's needed as long as Ken doesn't have access to her line.
Chase Credit Card (3)
After an argument on November 2nd, 2009, Ken signed the paperwork removing him from the account. It was mailed to Chase Credit Card on November 4th, 2009. It is passed the 30-day deadline to mail it after it was received but as of today I have not heard from them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)